Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Why I Dry

I have written about sitting in a dry spell, feeling becalmed recently as a blogger. Translation: I haven’t been writing as much for the past 10 days or so. There are several reasons for this. I am not going into all of them, but one I will. To blog is often to be preposterously sure of oneself, and in the Christian life I’ve discovered that’s not always possible. Or advisable. Some of the richest times spiritually are when we feel most uncertain. Or I do anyway. Who knows about you?

Our pastor hit on this theme today in his homily, making note in the opening antiphon of something about emptiness or hunger. (My present lack of certainty extends to such things: empty? hungry? does it matter?) He pointed out that it is only in such a state that we feel our need for God, grace, salvation.

In the first reading from Acts (12:24–13:5), the disciples were fasting when the Holy Spirit came upon them. In the Gospel (John 12:44–50), Jesus speaks of those in “the dark” receiving the light. Empty, hungry, fasting, in darkness—it doesn’t matter what words we use, does it? Better to embrace all of the above and wait for the light. Because without the light, what’s the point of blogging?

My pastor has an eerie way of hitting my state of mind—spot on—with his homilies. Which suggests that the words we use do matter very much indeed. So the point is not the words but the emptiness, the hunger, the dryness—giving you short, puzzling posts like this one.

1 comment:

  1. So you're basically saying you'll hide your rich spiritual times from us but will blaze away with misguided confidence when you're further from the Truth? ;)


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